The Aisle

I am fine,
Genuinely.

I have learnt how to navigate life without your palm in mine.

I am healthy
And prosperous.
I am fine

I have learnt to move forward without your map
And learnt to look forward to a ceremony you won’t be at.

I am fine
Truly,
…

Just don’t show up at my wedding
…

---

I will write happy poetry when i experience it
But until then
And since the day i held my very first pen,
I have only known what blood tastes like
On paper.

Tonight
My candles are bleeding tears
Under blue flames
Their eyes will close on another man
Taking off my veil.

Tonight
I have to let go of your ghost

Tonight
My drawer will be closed

Squeezing my eyes shut to stop my seas
From ruining the powder on my cheeks
With barely stable fingers.

I have always looked the other way of marriage

White dresses and ringing bells,
Down the aisle of an eternal felicità
They tell us
When we turn ten
Something to celebrate

Not every marriage is a happy one.
Not every marriage is a love story.

But every love story,
Is a love story.

Whether it ends with a bow on his neck and a ring on her hand
Or with a scar that never quite dries.
Left to mourn
Unconfessed vows aching for an unreachable altar

It throbs eternally inside a drawer
Palpitating as if the wood will grow taller

A wound that keeps bleeding
What an aisle never had the chance

To witness